Download PDF Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? By Kim Holderness,Penn Holderness

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Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?-Kim Holderness,Penn Holderness

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Ebook About
USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller! Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a?bar?fight; a?bra?fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.In?Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:Use “magic words” for healthy conflict resolutionAddress unspoken and unrealistic expectationsBanish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delayCarry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirsPenn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights.?Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!

Book Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It? Review :



I'm not even in a romantic relationship, and I still needed this book! Like many Holderness Family fans, I initially showed up for the silly videos, but what has kept me most engaged is their podcast. This book is such a natural extension of what they've been doing on their podcast for years- listening, learning, and trying to be better people. Kim and Penn's take on the universe is one that I can really relate to: they know that they are flawed on some areas, and view it as their responsibility to improve whenever possible. Their egos are both well in check, which is what allowed them to write a book like this.They candidly outline their 10 most common marital conflicts, and they are mostly universal conflicts that many people will tend to have in many different sorts of relationships. They share all of the unflattering details, as well and then review advice that they've learned from their marriage coach about how to reframe their discussions to get to the bottom of the conflicts. I use Christopher's catchphrase "Mature people ask for what they want." about ten times a week when interacting with my teenaged children. If I can send them out in the world with only one piece of relationship advice, that would be it.The greatest thing about this book is that both Kim and Penn's unique voices and humor come through on every page. You don't feel like you're being preached to- you just feel like you're getting great advice from a couple of close friends after drinking a few beers around a fire pit. They allow the humor to show through, even when discussing something really difficult. I laughed out loud so many times when reading this, but also had moments where I had to look up from the page and just digest some heavy truths. I am a female, but I really think that the tone of this book would be equally enjoyable for a man because of the humor. That said, don't think that this is all fluff and giggles! The techniques discussed in this book come with a dose of scientific backing, so this isn't just Kim and Penn's opinions or what worked for them- after reading it, you'll better understand the dynamics at play in your relationships, and how to adjust your behavior to have better outcomes when conflict rears its ugly head.
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and I work with couples. (Many clinicians won't, because it can be exhausting work for not much reward.) This book is a fantastic assist toward putting me out of business = HOORAY!Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness detail the "how-to" of growing and maintaining a strong and loving relationship while maintaining their own healthy independence. Their strategies, as taught in clear language by their own counselor, are accurately based on research into what works, and why. Awesome work, you guys!This book has taken top tier in my recommendations to clients (see also: 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work (Gottman/Silver), and Hold Me Tight (Johnson).

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